oh god the rape fog is back!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
