I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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