He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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