one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
