she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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