He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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