i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize