There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
