the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He shit in the fireplace
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
