Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
