he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
