As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
