Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
