She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
