Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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