so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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