I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
