I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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