I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
