You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
And then he peed in my hair
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