Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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