Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
