I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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