He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
