my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have post one night stand depression
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
