how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
