My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
