eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
