they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
