bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just had sex bonerless
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
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