he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had to cum in my sink.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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