Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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