and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
