My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
