Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
