you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
