well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
