Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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