I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
