Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
