First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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