You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
