Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
