He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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