Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
