it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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