I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
