i think my tv is drunk
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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