Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
