thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
