I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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