I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
