This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
